I usually only write here when I’m in the most dire and suffering place and have no one to talk to. I think that leads to a somewhat skewed version of this log, although I truly was suffering SO much of the time in the past year. I’m about a week or two into the higher dose of ssri, and I think it’s kicked in pretty well. I do not feel miserable all the time. I still struggle with the memories of what happened to me and how many doors to people I was once close to are closed. But I have an easier time looking at the moment that’s happening right now, and just being grateful that I’m alive and breathing. (That’s the kind of thing I have to be grateful about.)