I feel like I can’t make friends anymore. I used to be able to do it so easily. I don’t know if it’s my lack of confidence or if I’m just old and ugly now. I feel so alone. I have my mom and some old very good friends and I love them. But no one close… it’s like people get to a certain age and the door is just closed. I wish I’d known. People like smalls and the like, I hope they’re happy that they closed the door on the last time I would have a group of friends for the rest of my life. Fuck, it sucks SO bad. I miss being attractive and slightly confident. Life is just so fucking boring and ugly now.