I’m feeling a little better. Work is ok and I feel a little more hope. The hardest thing is the rest of the time. I don’t know how to get over the feeling that I’ve been utterly defeated by people. They just hurt me so badly and they feel like I deserve it. It’s maddening. I don’t know how to turn off thinking of them. Everything reminds me of them. It’s so hard to reconstruct a positive story of my life.