I had a good ol’ anxiety attack last night on the train ride home thinking about what email I’d write to SpiritKid and CJ. I’m banned from further considering an email to either of them since it’s not fucking happening. That and trying to consider who knows what and who to talk to sent me into a tailspin, heart pounding and shaking on the train. I was so glad to make it home. Then, I talked to someone I’m dating last night about what happened to SpiritKid (someone who experienced sexual abuse as a child) and it was cathartic. Today I feel better. Still super lonely. Goddamn it’s hard to adjust without company during the day. Why oh why did I have to lose Corgi’s daily company. And now TechnoDruid is so silent during the day. It’s almost like I just have to work during the day or something. :( Seriously though, it actually helps me work to be less lonely.